Asking for Help .

In time of need, we simply cannot do things alone. As a race that thrives on human interaction and interrelation, compassion and love are a necessity, in some shape or form. Emotion is difficult to explain though, and it takes time to even figure it out yourself before you fully understand it. I've had bad days before, but for some reason today just sucks more than all the rest of late. Could be lack of sleep, could be stress from projects and exams. Could be that there is just lots of things on my mind that I can't think through and can't really understand.

I'm sitting in studio and it's the last place I want to be. I feel like I need a smoke in one hand and a stiff drink in the other. When I'm distracted with something else (like working out at the gym this morning) everything is fine. But once I sit down and my mind has a moment to catch up and wander, I sink. To tune out studio for a moment, I plugged in my headphones and played some music. And then I prayed. I prayed for just some sort of feeling to remind me that I still really matter, and that I just needed God to listen to be and sit with me and be with me.

I don't know how religious of a person you are, and I don't know your beliefs, nor am I saying that there is some sort of correct way to live life and cope with issues. I don't know if you have something that you relate to having a connection with God or anything like that. Lately I've been praying to my guardian angel though, as I believe that everyone has one of these and that they are very real. The kind of being that puts thoughts in your head to avoid danger, or when you get a feeling that something just isn't right, you get this from your guardian angel, someone sworn to watch over you and protect you. I want to find a way to really be able to communicate with mine.

But anyways, as I listened to Sweet Disposition rattling through my ears, a warmth came over me. Tingles traveled all down my body and I almost shuddered. That was maybe five or ten minutes ago, and every so often I'm getting those tingles again, in smaller doses and various places all over my body. It's nice knowing that I am being protected. That when I am vulnerable, I have a shield. And it's really nice just escaping for a moment. I need it.

As my Blogger friends, thank you to those who always reach out. To those who communicate. Who humor me when I ask questions, or send emails about my problems, or send me snail mail. Thank you to those who have put themselves out there to share their stories and share a large part of themselves with their readers. You mean so much.